For ages now, I find myself over-worked and tired, and just really stressed. Pretty much every week for a while I find myself sitting alone crying. This probably happens twice a week. I cry because i'm not coping, I cry because the people I thought to be dependable are not, I cry because I am lonely and I cry because I can't any worth. I cry because I've put myself out there and nothing has happened. I cry because I feel I'm treated like an object. I cry because I don't have enough courage to do what I truly want to do.

So, my mp3 player broke yesterday, the OS froze and it failed to go to the menu, and just stayed on the first open screen.

However it is still under the warantee, as I got it in May last year, and got it replaced in August last year due to another fault. So I took it back, and they were going to exchange it for me, but the Creative Zen Micro has now become a discontinued item, so I got to choose a new item, and I would either pay the difference if the new product was more or get refunded the difference if the new product was cheaper.

So I upgraded to a newer Creative, I now have a Creative Zen Microphoto, it is pretty much exactly the same as my old one, but this new one is PINK, a tad smaller, has 8Gb of memory and has a colour screen. My old one was blue, only had 5Gb of memory and was black and white (monochrome??).

After 3 attempts of getting a pink mp3 player I finally got one, I only had to pay the difference of $26 for this newer and more wonderful item.

This type of warantee continues for another 2 years, since I bought 2 extra years of warantee. Which I think is pretty great.

I was so jealous of the mp3 player I got Menace for christmas, cause it was heaps better than my old one, but now mine is the great.

How can it be so, that a single event/person can get me down so much, and I have hopes that someone is out there that wants to make me happy, but I am just filled with disappointment.

I have to start to realise that words are just words, people always say things just to be polite, but I hardly ever see anyone act on the things they say. Why do people lie so much about everything.

Honestly is a much better way to live.

I wouldn't mind just sitting on my bed and just drinking, just washing away the world from my mind. Maybe my future is that of Bree's.

Maybe I'm just filled with disappointment, because I allow myself to believe such lies, and the truths are what I am in denial of.

Work has become a much lonelier place for me to be, go to work and talk to no one, while at work, have no idea what I am meant to be doing. Go home and read a book, to escape this world.

I attempt to seek comfort and keep getting disappointment, I must stop allowing me to believe there is real solice there.

Think it is time for me just go lie on my bed and drown myself in depressing music.